How to Ask Spiritual Questions

Discover how to ask spiritual questions to those who may not yet know Christ without them feeling attacked or defensive. This resource provides a conversational technique where you introduce a realistic but imaginary third-person scenario to help someone think critically, empathetically, and honestly.

Why does this work?

Well, people often defend positions, but they explore scenarios. This tool creates space for truth to land naturally. Get started by practicing these question ideas with someone you’re discipling.

Consider How You Ask Spiritual Questions

If you ask someone a difficult question that challenges their worldview, you automatically become their opponent, standing on the other side of the issue. However, when you bring an imaginary third person into the conversation, you have a chance to make that imaginary person their opponent. Then they will feel as though you are exploring the question together with them and will be more willing to answer honestly and openly.

In most cases, the person that you are speaking with will feel far less defensive when being challenged by an imaginary third person than they will by you. This technique unlocks the ability to traverse deep and heavy conversations without the emotional turmoil that can come from a debate.

Who Can You Ask Spiritual Questions To?

Before you start asking spiritual questions, think of someone who doesn’t yet know Jesus. Then pair this name with a question: If you could ask them one deep question, what would it be?

Five Steps for How to Ask Spiritual Questions

1. Begin with prayer.

Ask God to open the eyes of their heart (Ephesians 1:18 NIV). Seek to genuinely understand where they are coming from — this is the true heart posture of a follower of Christ.

 2. Set the frame.

Make it clear that you’re exploring together, not debating. This lowers defenses immediately. Continue the conversation by using one of these ideas (or create some ideas yourself):

• “Let me ask you something…”
• “Can I run a scenario by you?”

3. Introduce the scenario.

Use a believable third person and avoid exaggeration. Realism builds trust. Continue the conversation by using one of these ideas (or create some ideas yourself):

• “Imagine a coworker comes to you and says…”
• “What if someone you respect said…”

4. Invite their response.

Let them do the thinking. Don’t correct or rush. Let silence work.

Continue the conversation by using one of these ideas (or create some ideas yourself): 

• “How would you respond to that?”
• “What would you say back?”

 5. Reflect and connect.

Affirm their insight and gently connect it to the question. This is where clarity and conviction form. Continue the conversation by using one of these ideas (or create some ideas yourself):

• “That’s interesting, why do you think that matters?”
• “How does that line up with what you believe?”

Ask Spiritual Questions: An Example

Let’s imagine that you are having a conversation with your coworker, Doug. You’ve gotten to know Doug fairly well and you’ve been praying for an opportunity to start a spiritual conversation with him. During this conversation, both of you have been talking about the injustice that’s been going on in the world and how heartbreaking it is. 

You ask Doug, “Hey, let me ask you something. What if someone you respect said that good and evil are just ideas that people have made up and we as a society have agreed upon, and it’s judgmental and arrogant for us to impose our morality on another society and call what they are doing ‘unjust’? What would you say back?”

Doug thinks for a moment and then responds, “I’d tell them that they are wrong because there are certain things that pretty much everyone throughout history and around the world have recognized as being good or evil.”

You respond, “That’s interesting. Why do you think that matters?”

And, Lord willing, you are able to have a conversation about why we need God to be the one who can objectively define what is good and evil, just and unjust, and how Jesus and His resurrection are God’s solution to the evil in this world and in our hearts.

Adapted from “Asking Questions: The Third-Person Tactic” resource created by Navigators Workplace.