Q&A with Wayne Francis, Author of Make Friends with Anyone

In his new book, Make Friends with Anyone (NavPress, September 2026), pastor and speaker Wayne Francis draws from Scripture, lived experience, and years of ministry to show that friendship isn’t just a social luxury — it’s part of God’s blueprint for human flourishing. Biblical and practical, this book is written for people who want to make new friends, deepen existing friendships, and better steward the relationships God has already entrusted to them.

What inspired you to write Make Friends with Anyone?

I wrote Make Friends with Anyone because I became convinced that many Christians have never been given a theology of friendship. We may know how to think about marriage, parenting, work, and leadership, but very few of us have been taught how to intentionally build, sustain, and reorder friendships in light of our faith in God.

Friendship didn’t begin with us — it began before creation, in the perfect community of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. That means friendship isn’t merely social; it’s theological.

What’s special about the way the Christian faith calls us to pursue friendship?

The Christian vision of friendship is unlike anything else. Jesus didn’t simply teach friendship, He modeled it. He called His disciples “friends” (which no rabbi would have done in His time). That’s a big deal. He loved imperfect people. He understands the complexities of human nature because He literally did life with friends! He invested deeply in them, corrected them, celebrated with them, grieved with them, and ultimately laid down His life for them. The full gambit — displayed in Jesus.

Christianity doesn’t merely encourage friendship; it is God’s primary means of spiritual formation. The more I’ve understood Jesus as a friend, the more personal my relationship with Him has become — and watching how Jesus loved different people with different levels of proximity has deeply shaped how I approach friendship today.

How would you explain the role of friendship in disciplemaking?

I say it this way: Discipleship moves at the speed of relationship. Jesus said the world would recognize His followers by the way they loved one another. You simply cannot disciple people from a distance! Real discipleship requires proximity, trust, encouragement, correction, celebration, and shared life. Transformation happens when we’re willing to get “bicep deep” into the soil of each other’s stories.

Could you share about a disciplemaker in your life who invested in you and modeled real, godly friendship?

A disciplemaker named Pierre profoundly shaped my understanding of biblical friendship. He didn’t just teach me, he invited me into his life. He taught me to ski on beginner slopes even though he was an advanced skier. He took me fly fishing in Montana. As a person of color raised in an underserved section of NYC where I was not exposed to that stuff, it was a profound experience. He welcomed my wife and me into his home. He asked thoughtful questions, celebrated milestones, spoke life into me, and challenged me when I needed correction. He gave me opportunities to preach, introduced me to lifelong friends and mentors, and modeled excellence in every environment. He related to me like both a father and a friend, providing guidance without creating unnecessary distance. More than anything, Pierre showed me that discipleship isn’t primarily a curriculum — it’s connection.

How might you encourage those who feel discouraged in their pursuit of friendship?

Most of us carry relational scars. We’ve trusted people who disappointed us, opened our hearts without receiving the same vulnerability in return, or experienced friendships that simply fizzled. But optimism creates opportunity: If we allow past hurts to convince us that meaningful friendship is impossible, we’ll stop noticing the people God may already be placing in front of us (or who are already there). Don’t let one difficult chapter convince you the whole story has been written.

What are some common misconceptions people have about friendship?

One misconception is that every friendship should last forever. Another is that every friendship should have the same level of intimacy. We also tend to assume every relationship should provide equal reciprocity, but in reality, different friendships serve different purposes in different seasons. When we release those unrealistic expectations, we can have healthier friendships.

What’s something you’ve learned about the nature of God through your own experiences of different kinds of friendships?

One of the statements I make in the book is this: I don’t believe we experience the best of God without experiencing both the best and the worst of each other. Friendship is one of the primary places where God’s character is displayed: Patience, forgiveness, hospitality, generosity, long-suffering, encouragement, and sacrificial love all become tangible in the context of friendship.

The Bible never romanticizes friendship — it records great friendships, painful betrayals, seasons of distance, reconciliation, and disappointment. Yet Scripture consistently elevates friendship as one of God’s gifts.

Speaking from your experience as a pastor, why do people often find it difficult to make and maintain meaningful friendships? How does Make Friends with Anyone help?

Many people are living with what I call “vulnerability hangovers.” They opened their hearts once, weren’t met with reciprocity, and decided it was safer never to risk again. Others avoid healthy conflict because they’re afraid of being misunderstood. The problem is that conflicts delayed usually become conflicts escalated. We also tend to expect too much from every relationship. Without biblical categories, we either keep everyone at arm’s length or expect everyone to become family. My book provides practical tools for setting healthy expectations, creating wise boundaries, navigating conflict, and understanding how to layer friendships according to the different purposes they serve in our lives.

What lessons do you hope readers will carry with them after finishing the book?

I hope readers leave believing that friendship is one of God’s greatest gifts and one of His primary tools for spiritual formation. I hope they gain a richer theology of friendship, a clearer understanding of their own relational posture, and a practical roadmap for building meaningful friendships. And I hope the final chapter feels like a commissioning: I don’t simply want people to read about friendship, I want them to walk into the world with the confidence and conviction to make friends with anyone.

Meet the Author

Wayne Francis is a prolific speaker and dynamic teacher who is passionate about building the local church and seeing people find real life in Jesus. Currently, he serves as lead pastor for The Life Church New York and chaplain for the Brooklyn Nets. Wayne and his wife Claudene — whom he calls “Classy” — have been married for twenty-five years and have two beautiful daughters, Haleigh and Ryleigh. Wayne loves to cycle and takes great pleasure in turning any floor into a dance floor.