Inside Story
Amazed by Grace
How Brenda West helps military women overcome past hurts
By Rebecca K. Grosenbach
After an evening of open, honest, and sometimes painful conversation, a young female soldier looked at Brenda West and asked, “Can a broken heart ever be healed?”
Rather than give the woman a pat answer, Brenda affirmed her and said she would think about it. Later Brenda responded, “A broken heart can be healed, though it will always be scarred. And I have to tell you that the healing process is 10 times worse than any abuse you have ever had. But if you’re willing to go the distance, I’ll stand by your side.”
Brenda spoke from experience. She had been verbally and mentally abused as a child and was sexually abused in her early years in the military. It wasn’t until she was well into adulthood that she fully faced the wounds of those experiences. But now Brenda, a Senior Master Sergeant (SMSgt) and an associate Navigator staff member, helps other women face their hurts so they can heal.She’s not a trained counselor, and there are some things she isn’t able to address. But Brenda does a great amount of good, taking young women through Bible studies that have helped her and offering a listening ear and caring heart.
Brenda became acquainted with The Navigators when she was stationed at McGuire Air Force Base in 1975, but never became involved with Navigator staff. Then in 1993, a member of her Air National Guard unit in Tucson, Arizona, invited her to Navigators Rich and Cindy Robinson’s house. Rich spoke about God’s grace.
“It was the first time I heard someone talk about grace who seemed to understand it,” Brenda recalls.
Brenda became close friends with Cindy and Rich, and it didn’t take long for the Robinsons to see both great compassion and great woundedness in their new friend. They walked with Brenda on her journey to wholeness, going the distance with her as she joined a local abuse group that took her through The Wounded Heart, a NavPress book by Dan B. Allender.
In 2003, after a singles retreat, several young women asked Brenda and another staff member, Ann Perkins, if they would lead a women’s Bible study. After going through a few other books they landed on Sex and the Soul of a Woman by Paula Rinehart. The book helps women deal with sexual regret and reclaim their hearts. “That was a significant healing time for those girls—and myself,” Brenda says.
About the same time, Brenda went through counseling to help her deal with the abuse in her past. “That was a good, hard struggle,” she says. “And Rich and Cindy were there for me through it all.”
While most of the women Brenda works with are dealing with abuse from their childhood, an alarming number of women are sexually assaulted while serving in the military. According to an article in The New York Times, “Nearly a third of female veterans say they were sexually assaulted or raped while in the military, and 71 percent to 90 percent say they were sexually harassed by the men with whom they served” (online issue, May 26, 2008).Knowing the difficulties of the military, Brenda carries a special burden for these women. “I think about these airmen every day who are willing to die for our freedom and I ask myself, ‘What am I willing to do to help them find the freedom of their hearts?’ ” Brenda has taken numerous women through Sex and the Soul of a Woman and The Wounded Heart. And each time she goes through one of these books, it’s hard. “I wouldn’t have chosen this ministry,” she admits, “but it’s what God has given me.
“Until you face your hurts with someone who accepts them with you, you can’t get past them. You might hate what you see, but you have to refuse to run.”
When the young soldier asked Brenda if a broken heart can be healed, Brenda called Cindy for some advice.
“I asked Cindy, ‘What do I tell her?’ Cindy asked, ‘Brenda, what helped you?’ And I said, ‘Hope. Because someone else had been abused and made it through, she gave me hope.’ And Cindy said, ‘Brenda, you need to give her hope.’”
That’s what Brenda did—and what she does for the many women she walks with on the journey to wholeness.
