Feature Article
Waiting
By Judie Crouse
As I look back over my life, hope, waiting, and contentment run through it like gold and silver threads. As a child growing up in a less-than-affluent family, I had to wait for clothes, shoes, and the trinkets a child’s heart desires. As a committed young teenage believer, I hoped and dreamed about overseas service or full-time ministry, the typical expressions of serious commitment in those days. In my twenties and thirties, I longed for marriage and family. I longed to have significant ministry that would use my leadership gifts and influence oth-ers. I rarely expected and only occasionally got what I desired, yet I continued to hope, and I began to pray and ask God to fulfill my desires. I linked receiving the desires of my heart with how much I sacrificed, prayed, or kept various spiritual disciplines.
Looking back, God provided abundantly for me—a
generous grandmother who would treat me to a trip downtown to the
department store, a job and scholarships to finance a college
education, and a great church in which to grow and mature, all in spite
of my bad theology. Eventually God opened the way for me to begin
liv-ing, working, and ministering overseas and He blessed that ministry
beyond my wildest dreams. When I was least expecting it, I met and
later married a man perfectly fit for me. I have reached a point in my
life where I can say that God has used my leadership gifts and allowed
me to impact others. However, that gets ahead of the story.
Living and working in another culture surfaced questions about my lack of character development, about who God is, how He leads, how He answers prayer, and about who I am in Christ. I had to rethink my convic-tions as I began to live out my faith while surrounded by non-believing friends and colleagues. My restlessness, my desire to belong to someone, and my lack of contentment in the midst of having all I desired, pointed to a fundamental lie I believed: I was acceptable to God based on my performance, on what I did. God would love me more and answer my desires if I did more, and less if I did less.
I was drawn to the Scriptures for answers to my questions. I began to study the lives of Moses and Joshua, Daniel, David, and Joseph. I began to look for principles that would guide me in any culture, any era. Close friends challenged me to think about whether I needed what God provided to be content, or if I was con-tent in Him alone. A special encounter with God during a quiet time brought me the much needed assurance that I belonged to Him, was loved by Him, and that He was trustworthy. I began to memorize and meditate on verses related to waiting on God. They became real to me as I saw God’s pattern of laying a desire or promise on my heart and then asking me to wait for its fulfillment. Through the Bible studies, the influence of others, and my own encounters with God, I began to realize that God was more interested in my being in Him and relat-ing closely to Him, versus doing things for Him.
At one point, when I was struggling with singleness, I was encouraged to pray, “Thank you, God that by your grace and in your plan I am single. This is your good, acceptable, and perfect will for me today.” I have prayed this same prayer many times, filling in the blank with an area of discontent, when my heart is less than content with God alone. For me this means words or phrases like “childless,” “not satisfied in my marriage,” “not able to use my leadership gifts,” or “in the United States, not overseas.” I have found this simple exercise brings me back to focus on God. In addition, I rehearse what is true about God: He has good plans, He is loving, kind, wise, all-knowing, Sustainer, and Provider.
Last year at this time, I was experiencing various struggles related to my leadership role. God used a de-votional on hope by one of our African leaders to bring me back to rest and contentment. As I poured over Scriptures on hope, my burden lifted. I found myself saying with David, “Hope in God for I shall again praise Him, my King and my God” (Psalm 42:5b), and praying Romans 15:13: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” Today I am hopeful, content, enjoying God and, as Ruth Myers said, “Leaving it all quietly to Him.”
Judie has served on the International Student Ministry Leadership Team the past eight years in the area of staff development. She has been on Navigator staff since 1977 and lives in Portland, Oregon, with her husband, Mike. They currently coach and mentor Japanese and those ministering to them, both in the United States and in Japan.
By Judie Crouse
As I look back over my life, hope, waiting, and contentment run through it like gold and silver threads. As a child growing up in a less-than-affluent family, I had to wait for clothes, shoes, and the trinkets a child’s heart desires. As a committed young teenage believer, I hoped and dreamed about overseas service or full-time ministry, the typical expressions of serious commitment in those days. In my twenties and thirties, I longed for marriage and family. I longed to have significant ministry that would use my leadership gifts and influence oth-ers. I rarely expected and only occasionally got what I desired, yet I continued to hope, and I began to pray and ask God to fulfill my desires. I linked receiving the desires of my heart with how much I sacrificed, prayed, or kept various spiritual disciplines.
Looking back, God provided abundantly for me—a
generous grandmother who would treat me to a trip downtown to the
department store, a job and scholarships to finance a college
education, and a great church in which to grow and mature, all in spite
of my bad theology. Eventually God opened the way for me to begin
liv-ing, working, and ministering overseas and He blessed that ministry
beyond my wildest dreams. When I was least expecting it, I met and
later married a man perfectly fit for me. I have reached a point in my
life where I can say that God has used my leadership gifts and allowed
me to impact others. However, that gets ahead of the story.Living and working in another culture surfaced questions about my lack of character development, about who God is, how He leads, how He answers prayer, and about who I am in Christ. I had to rethink my convic-tions as I began to live out my faith while surrounded by non-believing friends and colleagues. My restlessness, my desire to belong to someone, and my lack of contentment in the midst of having all I desired, pointed to a fundamental lie I believed: I was acceptable to God based on my performance, on what I did. God would love me more and answer my desires if I did more, and less if I did less.
I was drawn to the Scriptures for answers to my questions. I began to study the lives of Moses and Joshua, Daniel, David, and Joseph. I began to look for principles that would guide me in any culture, any era. Close friends challenged me to think about whether I needed what God provided to be content, or if I was con-tent in Him alone. A special encounter with God during a quiet time brought me the much needed assurance that I belonged to Him, was loved by Him, and that He was trustworthy. I began to memorize and meditate on verses related to waiting on God. They became real to me as I saw God’s pattern of laying a desire or promise on my heart and then asking me to wait for its fulfillment. Through the Bible studies, the influence of others, and my own encounters with God, I began to realize that God was more interested in my being in Him and relat-ing closely to Him, versus doing things for Him.
At one point, when I was struggling with singleness, I was encouraged to pray, “Thank you, God that by your grace and in your plan I am single. This is your good, acceptable, and perfect will for me today.” I have prayed this same prayer many times, filling in the blank with an area of discontent, when my heart is less than content with God alone. For me this means words or phrases like “childless,” “not satisfied in my marriage,” “not able to use my leadership gifts,” or “in the United States, not overseas.” I have found this simple exercise brings me back to focus on God. In addition, I rehearse what is true about God: He has good plans, He is loving, kind, wise, all-knowing, Sustainer, and Provider.
Last year at this time, I was experiencing various struggles related to my leadership role. God used a de-votional on hope by one of our African leaders to bring me back to rest and contentment. As I poured over Scriptures on hope, my burden lifted. I found myself saying with David, “Hope in God for I shall again praise Him, my King and my God” (Psalm 42:5b), and praying Romans 15:13: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” Today I am hopeful, content, enjoying God and, as Ruth Myers said, “Leaving it all quietly to Him.”
Judie has served on the International Student Ministry Leadership Team the past eight years in the area of staff development. She has been on Navigator staff since 1977 and lives in Portland, Oregon, with her husband, Mike. They currently coach and mentor Japanese and those ministering to them, both in the United States and in Japan.
