Partnering



Book Review
Becoming Colleagues:  Women and Men Serving Together in Faith
by Jane Berry, National Women's Ministry Director

Carol E. Becker has written an excellent book on the challenges of mixed-gender teams in faith-based organizations. Though she references church-based organizations, we can learn much from her experience, and apply it to our context as Navigators.

Her introduction notes that "mixed-gender teams are not as successful as they could be, and the reasons for the success or failure are not always evident. Women often grapple with people whose practices and theological understandings do not welcome their leadership, and both men and women fall into counterproductive power struggles and traps of miscommunication."

You may not agree with all of Becker's ideas, but her chapter on Modeling Partnerships* outlines helpful ways men and women can model partnership to influence the community of faith:

What Men Can Do
  • Create a place for women--women often need to feel "the coast is clear."
  • Create an atmosphere of acceptance for women--set the tone.
  • Advocate for women in leadership.
  • Affirm what women do--share the praise and the credit.
  • Mentor women--show them the ropes.
  • Help women advance--help women "see" for themselves what is possible.
  • Value family concerns--family welfare is an issue for men and women, not just a woman's concern.
  • Include women in decision making--being in leadership does not always mean inclusion in the "real" decisions.
  • Articulate the gender traps for men--identify attitudes that hinder effectiveness.
  • Invite other men to begin their change process.
What Women Can Do
  • Go public--risk by making generalizations, think big.
  • Learn from men--they can teach us how to lead.
  • Speak up--even when you are tired of speaking up.
  • Mentor other women--we can learn from men, but there is greater benefit from being mentored by women.
  • Be ourselves boldly--"the secret to being a successful woman is to be a woman."
  • Be angry and merciful--strong but not alienating. (My thoughts: many women in the Body of Christ are indeed angry because of the difficulties inherent in partnering. Unfortunately, this anger may not always be processed in healthy ways. I agree with what Becker implies, that women must not allow the valid emotion of anger to alienate them from their colleagues or from the mission.)
There is no room to explain each of her suggestions, but perhaps there is enough here to get a group discussion going or, better yet, to make a matter of prayer! I'm glad we are on our way to successful mixed-gender leadership teams in our entities.

*Carol E. Becker, Becoming Colleagues: Women and Men Serving Together in Faith, 2000, Jossey-Bass Publishers, p. 290-305.