Bob Turner

Wise Words on Sustaining Your Emotional and Spiritual Resources

From Bob Turner
Metro/b2g, Boston

All of us have an emotional/spiritual tank, a reservoir of strength and refreshment. Sometimes the tank level gets low and we feel we don’t have enough to live on ourselves, and definitely nothing to give away to others. At other times life is good and the level of our emotional/spiritual tank is high. Then we feel we have plenty to give away to others.

Let’s examine the things that drain and fill our tanks and how we can begin to achieve some sort of balance between them.

Identifying the leaks

All of us get leaks in our tanks and these leaks gradually lower our emotional and spiritual reserves. You know what I mean by leaks. You have them and they are wearing you out!

There are the little leaks, like:

• Getting a flat tire on the way to work
• Getting a stain on your favorite shirt
• Missing a deadline at work and feeling your boss's disapproval

Then there are the middle-sized leaks, like:

• You and your roommate are not getting along (But, of course, it’s not your fault!)
• Your friends have a boyfriend/girlfriend and you don’t
• Someone broke into your car and stole your camera and wallet

Then there are the big ones like:

• You have a broken relationship with someone you used to be close to
• Someone in your family is really sick and you’re worried
• You just received notice that you are getting laid off from work

List your leaks

Did Bob’s list of leaks sound familiar? Make a list of the circumstances—or people—that are draining your tank.

Do some caulking (or welding)

Brainstorm ways to seal up your leaks. Here are some ideas:

• Ask someone's forgiveness
• Set up a budget to relieve any financial pressure
• Arrange to spend a day in spiritual retreat—put it on your calendar so it really happens
• Set limits for a friendship that’s taking more from you than it’s giving to you!

Turn up the faucets

Pick one or two things that fill up you tank and make plans to do them. And, if possible, do them with a friend and fill up your friend’s tank, too.

Remember God's solution

Memorize God’s answer to Paul about his leak—and Paul’s response: “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me” 2 Corinthians 12:9.

All of us get leaks in our tank. Some leaks are just a part of life. Some leaks are the result of you punching a hole in your tank by making an unwise or costly decision. Some leaks are ones that you are going to have to live with for a long time or maybe even the rest of your life.

You need to identify the leaks and then seal them up.

What is it that is wearing you out? It really does help to identify the leaks and to put a name on each one. Next, do some creative thinking and plan how to seal the leaks. Do whatever it takes!

Turning on the faucets

Once you've sealed the leaks, how do you refill your tank? Find the faucet!

We all have faucets that fill up our emotional and spiritual tank. These are the things that make us feel affirmed, encouraged, and rejuvenated. These faucets are unique to who you are and to what encourages you.

Here’s a list of faucets; see if some of these ring true for you. Figure out what else might fill your tank.

• Reading a good book
• Being around some good and special friends
• Spending time with an older mentor who helps give you perspective and hope
• Cleaning your room and getting it organized
• Being used by God to help and encourage someone
• Going to a concert
• Completing a big project at work and being recognized and affirmed for it
• Spending some quality time with God—reading, praying, journaling
• Going away for a great weekend with a friend
• Getting a good workout at the gym

Leveling your tank

Here’s a question for you: What makes the level of a person’s emotional and spiritual tank go up or down? It’s the balance between the leaks and the inflows. If you seal up a bunch of the leaks and turn on a bunch of the faucets then the level of your tank will rise. If you are suddenly hit with additional leaks and do nothing to increase the inflow then the level of the tank will go down. More leaks require more inflows or your level is heading downward.

Pouring into other tanks

As followers of Christ we are suppose to be pouring into other people’s tanks. We should be loving and serving people and actively observing and meeting their needs. The problem is that loving and serving people takes emotional and spiritual energy. It’s like we have faucets coming out of the side of our tank from which we pour into others’ tanks. But if our emotional and spiritual level is low we have a difficult time pouring into others’ lives.

If my tank is high, I might pull into a gas station and get out of the car and joke and jive with the attendant and go away having encouraged him. If my tank is low, I say, “Fill it up,” without even making eye contact. I have nothing to give away.

Let’s imagine that I presented a message to my small group about loving and serving other people. Rather than speak from the heart, all I did was make people feel really guilty about what they should be doing. When they feel guilty enough and if their tank level is low, they might do what I call “splashing.” Out of guilt and through self-effort they can splash something into another person’s tank. It relieves the guilt and makes them feel better for a while. But it takes so much effort and energy to splash that they eventually stop and feel even more exhausted and drained. Self-effort is not enough. Giving has to come from a full emotional and spiritual tank that is naturally overflowing into the lives of others. We need to learn to get our tanks filled from God’s inexhaustible resources.

In closing, let me tell you about the Apostle Paul and his leak. First Corinthians 12:8,9 says that Paul had a leak. Three times he prayed that God would seal it. But God said, “Paul, the leak stays.”

That means that Paul’s emotional and spiritual tank was going to keep going down and that he would not have enough resources to continue to pour into other people’s tanks. Read what Paul wrote:

“Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness’ ” (1 Corinthians 12:8,9).

It’s as if God said, “Paul, I’m going to pour in enough of my inexhaustible grace into your tank so that even though the leak stays you will have more than enough to continue to pour into others.”

God can help us seal our leaks, but if the leaks remain He can pour in enough grace so that we will have all that we need to live and enjoy life and also enough to pour into others.

So remember—

• Identify your leaks and seal up as many as you can
• Identify your faucets and turn on as many as you can
• Then you will have enough to naturally and generously pour into the lives of others