Four Things I Wish I Knew
Right After College
By Kristy Whaley
Heading into the "real world" after college, in some areas I did not feel as prepared as I would have liked. Part of it was thinking that life in the real world would be the same, except with more money. Part of it was encountering bigger challenges and changes than anticipated.
As you transition from college to what is next, my desire is to help prepare you and ease some of the "bumps" you may encounter. I polled friends from around the country, with all different degrees and jobs, and asked them, "What do you wish you knew when you graduated from college?"
1. Work is Nothing Like School
Everyone I polled mentioned something about work being so different from school. They talked about responsibilities, programs, hours, and even dress.
After graduating, I got a job teaching seventh grade English. Getting all the books from the school, I read them, prepared lesson plans, and waited for that magical day when I would go to work and be a full-fledged teacher.
That first day, I didn't know what to expect or what to bring. Up at 5 am, a time I previously had no personal contact with, I put on my nicest new dress pants and button-down shirt, packed a lunch, and headed off to work.
The other teachers wore jeans and polos.
The other teachers had no sack lunches because the school fed us for this first day.
They also did not show up for another half an hour.
Ill-prepared, I felt like the biggest nerd in school. Even the other new teachers seemed to know that today we would be doing things like setting up our classrooms, cleaning, and sharing in "teacher bonding time."
At a different job, showing up in your nicest business clothes may be completely appropriate. Some companies give orientations which help too. Here are some other things you can be ready for:
Working longer than 8 to 5. Your company might keep different hours. It may be that your company requires work to be done and does not care what time you are "supposed" to leave. Occasionally that may happen.
Eating a half hour lunch. If you are a teacher, make that a twenty-minute lunch. This may be the only break you get, so don't waste it. Go to the bathroom. Eat. Talk to a couple people. Fix your, by now, very Einstein-looking hair. Use these twenty to thirty minutes as productively as possible. If you get longer, take two minutes to thank the Lord and pray for your friends who don't.
Wearing nice, more formal clothes every day of the week. Even if you had a late night Thursday and simply want to wear your favorite jeans to the office, you still need to wear those gray slacks and nice ties. It depends on your company's dress policy, so quickly find out what that is. It is not fun to wear what you think are sandals to work only to discover that flip flops are not allowed. If you can't wear those sandals, dress up an outfit with a favorite belt buckle or earrings.
Going to bed at 9 or 10 pm. Yeah, this is pretty much dinner time for college students, but going to bed at 2 am every night is not going to cut it. You will be exhausted and everyone will know it. We have jobs and the responsibility to do them well.
Come to work ready and willing to learn. My friend, Matt, got a finance degree and works at a bank. What he learned in school had not yet come into play at work. He had to learn all these new computer programs, policies, and tasks when he was hired. He feels like he never gets to use his degree. I think that is fairly common, no matter what you are doing or what your professors told you. Learning new things comes with any job.
2. Having a Social Life Takes More Initiative
In the first six months after graduating, I cried a lot. Loneliness was one main reason. No more getting to see my friends all the time, like during school when we lived in such close proximity.
Finding friends now takes a lot more initiative and action. Sure, in college you and I had to gather up courage to go say hello to that nice person eating lunch in the dining hall. But now you have to gather up the courage to first find the "dining hall" and then say hello to the first normal person you meet! In addition, if you're like me, most of your friends from college moved around the country. There is a loss of that close friendship with peers and hanging out together like we were accustomed. Even with nearby friends, we may all be much busier with work and personal things now.
However, there are things out there for you; you just have to find them! Many churches offer activities for 20-somethings. If your church doesn't, find another church that does. Or start something. It does not necessarily mean you have to switch churches. Check out different Bible studies.
Also, come up with subjects you can talk about with people. Ask questions and be interested in others as well. Participate in the Bible study to see if you will really like it. Go to parks and look for local ultimate frisbee teams, or something similar. Ask to join in or ask if there is a sign up sheet to be on a team. These people bond like crazy.
It is going to be different. You won't be able to keep the same hours you used to, do the same spontaneous day trips, or go to dinner on a moment's notice as easily. It takes some getting used to, but it will be okay. You will have friends. If I can do it, so can you!
3. Having Your Own Place to Live Means More Responsibilities
Two girlfriends rented a house with me and when our landlord did not include some utilities in the rent, we were surprised. Then puzzled. Who pays for water, then? What about electricity? That's when I had a lovely chat with my local utilities company.
"I would like to sign up for utilities," I said, feeling adult-like.
"What utilities do you need, ma'am?" (This was the first time I had been called "ma'am," and it was traumatic.)
"Um…what exactly do you mean? I need, you know, utilities." This ended my very adult-like feeling.
That's when I learned. You not only have to pay for the water to come out of the faucet, but there's a separate charge for the sewer water. To this day I still can't believe I have to pay to flush my toilet! I guess everyone else does too. You also have to pay for electricity, gas, and depending on your house, possibly other things too. The worst, though, was signing up for trash.
I had to call three different trash companies to get prices, which, by the way, included costs like "maintenance of the trucks" and "trash cans." I had to find out which trash companies came to my neighborhood. Then they told me what day and time the trash needed to be out for them to collect it. Also, if you miss that time, you have to pay a fee for them to come back. With some companies, if you have too much trash, you have to pay a fee! It took me a long while to get over the fact that no one takes trash away free out of a desire to keep our country beautiful.
There's more. My landlord explained that we were expected to mow the lawn. "With what?" I said. Apparently we must buy a lawnmower as well! He promised to take money out of my deposit if we didn't do it.
Then it snowed. Ah, lovely snow means no need to mow the lawn!
Then came the notice that we have to shovel the sidewalks or the city will fine us.
Next, it started to dawn on my roommates and me that we had to start actually taking care of the house. We had to get the mail, do the dishes, clean the bathroom, clean windows, shovel the driveway and sidewalks, and deal with ant infestations!
Living on my own showed me all of the things my parents and others did for me, and that real life also includes real responsibilities. Being on your own and taking care of things like rent, food, gas, utilities, a car, doctor's visits, cleaning up after a pizza party, etc. costs money, time and effort. So now that you know a little more of what your mom and dad, or whomever took care of you, did for you while growing up, go hug and thank them for letting you live in their house.
Ask questions. When you consider renting, ask the landlord what you are responsible for and what he/she is responsible for. Ask who mows the lawn. Ask about the security deposit. Ask about the lease and what kind of notification you need to give when it comes time down the road to move out. Or if you are thinking about buying a house, learn what is involved in financing it.
With roommates, discuss how various responsibilities will be delegated. Talk about the work schedules you all have. If two of you are sharing a bathroom and have to be at work at the same time, does someone get up earlier? Who does the dishes? Who mows the lawn? Will you share food? How will you pay for the utilities? These things may seem like stuff you have already dealt with, but it is more of an issue now that you are likely on budgets. It's also a different kind of responsibility paired with full time jobs.
4. Ramen and McDonalds Are No Longer Nutritious Meals
In college, free food was like manna from heaven, and cheap food was like a daily dose of Vitamin C. I did not have the money, or the motivation, to cook nutritious, well-balanced meals for myself everyday. I'm not sure I even knew what a well-balanced meal looked like. I just knew I could get one if I went home for the weekend.
When I lived in an apartment my first year out of college, I may have cooked for myself or others a whopping total of three times! That was the year of eating out. Thus, I am not the person for advice on eating well, but my roommate Pamela is. She offers these tips.
Eat well balanced meals. If your meal is only Spaghettios, cook some vegetables to go with it. Make sure you are getting enough vitamins too. Take vitamin pills if needed. Get sufficient protein (from seafood, eggs, beans, some meats, and dairy products) because you will need the energy to get through the week. And drink plenty of water. Overall, start thinking about how to make your diet healthier, and include things you should eat. Of course, Pamela and I still believe that a meal is not a meal without dessert!
Exercise. It is a bit harder now that the university does not supply you a gym and you do not have to walk everywhere, but find an activity. Personally, I go to the gym alone because then I can work out like a clumsy fool without anyone I know seeing me.
Much of this you may already know, but it is worth mentioning again. One last thought as well is maintaining your spiritual health.
Finding a Bible study is a good way to meet people, and it is vital in our spiritual development. I learned the hard way. The first six months after I graduated, I was going to church, but irregularly, and I was not involved in a Bible study. I had Christian friends, but we were concerned with talking about our new jobs, new apartments, and new cities. I became so spiritually drained that I broke down.
During one particularly awful day, I wrote in my journal that I felt like God had left me to go through this awful transition alone. But I was wrong. God was there with me, I just wasn't looking for Him.
That next semester I committed to find a good Bible study. Each week I searched, finally finding one that could build me up. These friends are also open and they listen. Since finding them, I can better deal with the trials that come my way.
Without good spiritual support, the friends and job and house and money will overcome you. You will be lost in a sea of questions, doubt, and confusion. God knows how you feel and He wants to be there for you. But you have to look for Him and draw near to Him.
In a later journal entry I wrote, "Christ died for me. He loves me. He wants to spend eternity with me. And I have to do nothing, absolutely nothing, to deserve that. I just have to desire to love Him back." That desire to love Him means that you have to desire to love His people. You have to fellowship with others and find people to be accountable with. Don't go it alone. God will help you find your way to friends, to a job, and to His plan for your life.
Paul said, "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me (1 Corinthians 13:11)." We too must do the same. Accepting more challenges and responsibilities now, and depending on Christ, I can better handle the next adventure God has for me. And the next one. God doesn't want our lives to stagnate in one place, but to grow ever closer to Him.
May you be with God as you enter the real world. And enjoy shoveling snow.
Kristy Whaley is The Navigators' Collegiate Personnel Administrator and a student at Denver Seminary.
