REAL Marriage Retreat
Where Fantasy Meets Reality
with Kelly and Tosha Williams
February 5–7, 2010
RETREAT OVERVIEW
A beautiful setting with fantastic grounds. Great teaching from a dynamic ministry couple. Inspiring worship. Teaching time, sharing time, process time, and down time. Excellent meals in the castle. The perfect weekend for you and your spouse!
OUR RETREAT LEADERS
 Kelly and Tosha Williams met at Liberty University and married in 1993 after completing their college education. Their first home was in Dallas, Texas where they both attended Dallas Theological Seminary while serving on staff in a church and working at the seminary. In 1996, Kelly graduated cum laude with a master of theology (ThM) degree, and Tosha graduated summa cum laude with a master of biblical studies (MABS) degree.
Kelly and Tosha became church planter apprentices with the Southern Baptist Convention and moved to Colorado Springs to start Vanguard Church in 1997 (vanguardchurch.org).
The Williams believe in REAL Marriage because they are experiencing it. In writing this book, the principles of REAL have profoundly affected their marriage. REAL marriage, in the midst of very challenging, responsibility-filled lives, is worth pursuing and living . . . and sharing with others.
Kelly and Tosha have been married for sixteen years. They have five children and live on a small farm in Colorado Springs.
RETREAT SCHEDULE
FRIDAY
3:00pm-6:00pm—Check-in & Hospitality Suite
6:00pm-7:00pm—Dinner in the Castle
7:15pm—Welcome & Worship
Session One—Realize the Cost
8:45pm—Fellowship Time//Work on your “story of us”
SATURDAY
7:30am—Holy Habits devotional
8:00am-9:00am—Breakfast in the castle
9:15am—Worship and Session Two—Embrace God’s Spiritual Guideposts
10:30am—Couple time
Noon-1:00pm—Lunch
1:15pm Session—Three—Align Your Allegiance to One Another
2:15pm—Couple/Free Time
6:00pm-7:00pm—Dinner in the Castle
7:15pm—Worship and Session Four—Love Each Other
8:45pm—Fellowship Time
SUNDAY
(please check out of your room before the main session)
7:30am—Holy Habits devotional
8:00am-9:00am—Breakfast in the castle
9:15:00am—Worship Time
Session Five—REAL Marriage Wrap-Up with Q&A
11:15:00am—Box lunch and farewells
RETREAT SUMMARY
Is marriage the Jack Kevorkian of romance? When the tough times in marriage knock us over, it sure seems that way. Getting fantasy to stay alive through the hard realities of marriage sometimes seems impossible. Maybe “happily ever after” is just a myth from the fantasy world of fairytales and make-believe, something that real-life couples bombarded with mortgages, jobs, babies and crazy schedules cannot experience. Or is it? Can reality and fantasy be experienced simultaneously in marriage?
As we facilitate this marriage retreat, we will explore these issues, not by talking about marriage in general but by talking about our own marriage. We will attempt to be “real” with you, though we often cringe as we hear our own story. As you hear the highs and lows of our REAL marriage, though, you may just laugh and cry as you think about the highs and lows of your own marriage. And, as we tell parts of our story, you will begin to focus on the even greater story of the weekend: yours.
We believe the story of your marriage will never be the same after you pursue REAL in your relationship. Fantasy can meet reality in your marriage if you are willing to dream it, sacrifice for it and live it. This “REAL Marriage” will show you how.
Session titles:
- Realize the Cost
- Embrace God’s Spiritual Guideposts
- Align Your Allegiance to One Another
- Love Each Other
- Question and Answer with Kelly and Tosha
Session One: Realize the Cost
“REAL Marriage” starts by exploring the phases of fantasy and reality. Every married couple experiences some of both in marriage. Unfortunately, after the honeymoon is over, fantasy sometimes gets a bad rap in Christian society because of all the negative, sinful ways it is experienced. However, healthy fantasy is a culmination of all the hopes and dreams you want to experience with your spouse. In this session, you will be encouraged to remember the hopes and dreams and fantasies that brought the two of you together. You will be challenged to go beyond the raw realities of today’s story and weave fantasy back in. In this session, we will encourage to you keep swimming to fantasy in the sometimes chilly waters of reality. We will identify the phases and the costs that your marriage has required from you thus far. And, by the end of this first session, you will be challenged to tell your spouse, “You are worth the sacrifice, regardless.” After this session, you will be encouraged to spend alone time with your spouse, writing your personal “story of us.”
Session Two: Embrace God’s Spiritual Guideposts
The second session of “REAL Marriage” will explore the Scriptures’ guideposts for marriage. You have probably ignored some of these, either in dating or marriage. (The truth is, we all have in one way or another.) And you may have followed the guideposts and be experiencing the blessings that come from embracing them. In this session, we will help you revisit and unpack your story that you and your spouse wrote after session one. What about your story is shameful, embarrassing or hurtful? What about your story is rewarding and brings a deep sense of pride and pleasure to the two of you? Each string from these two categories weave together to form your story. And, vulnerability about your story – the good, bad and ugly – is the price tag of fantasy. Our time together in this session will culminate in learning how to create a “culture of confession” in your marriage. This will enable you to experience the greatest fantasy in your marriage while living in the reality of your every day story. Easier said than done, right? We will let you see the highs and lows of our marriage to show you how.
Session Three: Align Your Allegiance to One Another
We have heard is said that “marriage is about two people becoming one.” Our question is, which one? The “culture of confession,” which you will have begun to practice after session two, will have laid you bare before one another. This, we are certain, will have brought up some level of conflict. What do you do with this? How do you get past the conflict that every marriage encounters along the way? Every one of us wants to be know – until we are known. Then we want to figure out how to hide what we do not want our spouse to know about us. In this session, we will explore how to live in the tension that vulnerability through confession creates. You will learn how to fight for one another instead of with one another when the inevitable tensions arise. The sparks may fly before, during and after this session, but this reality does not have to drown fantasy in your marriage. This is just part of learning how to communicate with one another instead of against one another. You will survive, not just this session, but conflict itself as you weave “Aligning Your Allegiance” into your marriage.
Session Four: Love Each Other
After all the talk about the highs and lows, the conflict and the crises’ of marriage, this session is where R-E-A-L gets to the fun stuff. Marriage is most definitely not the Jack Kevorkian of romance; boredom in marriage is, in our opinion. So, how do you keep the love and intimacy alive long after the honeymoon is over? By continuing to be vulnerable with one another. Up to this point, you have been vulnerable in confession; now you will be encouraged to be vulnerable in creativity. In this last session, we will emphasize the four parts of married love: leading one another, offering yourself to your spouse’s fantasy, valuing new experiences, and embracing the greatest love story of all time. As we move through these four characteristics of loving one another, we believe you will be freed to become the couple God always intended you to be. Though the path to get there is never easy, love is fun. Fantasy and reality can co-exist in the chapters of your story, and now you are ready to write some in your own “story of us.”
Session Five: Question and Answer
Though there will be five sessions during this retreat, the majority of your time will be spent alone as a couple, talking through various aspects of your marriage. You will come away with a richer appreciation for your story as you have the opportunity to delve into it with some guidance from the sessions and without distractions from other things. However, as you grow in your relationship with your spouse, you may come upon issues or questions that you need help with. In this last session, we will provide couples with the opportunity to ask us about anything that they have heard or experienced during the weekend. No question is off limits. You can ask away! The two of us are willing to be vulnerable about the fantasy and reality of our marriage in order to help couples experience that in their marriage, too. Just because we wrote the book does not mean we do not have to practice what’s in the book. All of us have to put the principles into practice every day. For us, for you, for every married couple, fantasy meets reality as we do this. New experiences await. Join us on the journey.
 PRICING AND REGISTRATION
CONFERENCE FEE:
Prices are per couple, double occupancy and include two nights lodging, six meals per person, and conference materials.
- Standard room: $416/couple plus tax
- Deluxe room: $466/couple plus tax
- Premier room: $496/couple plus tax
Call 1-800-944-4536 to register by phone!
Ask about Come Early, Stay Late options!
View our cancellation policy. |
