Doing a Life-to-Life Session
John D. Purvis
From The Adventure of Disciping Others. Order from NavPress
Meeting life-to-life was a new experience for Jake. He was a new believer but a little skeptical about meeting with me. He wanted to grow in his faith but suspicious about my suggestion that we get together for breakfast to discuss what growing in Christ was all about. His caution helped me review the core elements of a life-to-life ministry that had helped for me for over 30 years.
PREPARING
- I give five minutes to praying for the person regularly. This will be the hardest yet most profitable preparation. Then once a week, when I have more time I take some extended time to intercede for him or her.
- I like to formulate in advance the Bible part of our intended time together around a relevant spiritual truth using the acrostic PEAR. A Bible concordance can be a useful help.
E What EXAMPLE can I give from my life and/or from the life of a Biblical character?
A What APPLICATION can I suggest?
R Is there a RESOURCE, book, tape, pamphlet or Web site I can suggest?
BEGINNING
- Most people need several minutes to download
some of the (routine) arenas of their lives. It is a good time for me
to remember to practice listening skills of eye contact, and feeding
back questions to show that I understand. I try not to let the warm-up
time take up the majority of my life-to-life time.
- I ask with legitimate concern about the pressures or issues in their life. I keep in my Day-Timer some questions to ask those I meet with. I keep notes of their answers. Since our goal is to see the character of Christ developed in each of our lives, I ask seven life-to-life, probing questions. I try to cover two of them each meeting.
- What things went well this week?
- What things went really badly this week?
- What caused you to really connect with God this week?
- What made you back away from Him?
- What one thing did you learn from your biggest mistake this week?
- What's the most important thing you learned from Scripture this week?
- What do you need me to be praying for you after this meeting?
- I allow adequate time to discuss the PEAR study I prepared. One of the passages I gave Jake was from Luke 15. Since he was going through an excruciatingly painful family situation, I asked him to look at the passage not as a typical "prodigal son" but rather look for principles that characterized the loving actions of the father .
For the application, I suggested that each morning during the following week Jake read through the Psalm we had just discussed. I thought that was enough so I didn't give him a paper I had thought about.
CONCLUDING
- Realizing this life-to-life time together is
a wartime event in the unseen spiritual realm I always take time to
pray together. If in a restaurant, which usually it is, we simply leave
our eyes open and talk to God conversationally. If it is convenient to
go to the car, I find there are fewer distractions there. I tend to use
Bible passages when I pray to reinforce dependence on the Word of God.
Over time, the person learns it is possible to accomplish serious
Kingdom business even in public.
- I take time as soon as possible to review any notes I took and make additional observations.
