"better2gether" is Not a Cliché
One way to lessen much of the shock and loneliness of moving to a new place is by moving there with friends. The “best” job offer may not be the “best” for you. This may seem like a radical thought to some people, but the job with the highest pay, and most advancement potential may not be the best if you end up isolated and alone.
A MODERN AMERICAN MYTH: “A strong person can make it on his own.”
We are drawn to the image of rugged individualism. Who hasn’t, at some time in his or her life, dreamed of being the Surer Hero? It feels strong to say, “I can do it alone.” But Jesus never asked us to do it alone. He always sent out the disciples two by two. The Apostle Paul didn’t travel alone. He had Barnabas and Mark or Timothy and Silas with him.
AN ANCIENT TRUTH: “It is not good for man to be alone.”
The very nature of God teaches us that it is not good to be alone. God is one God, but He exists as three persons. He is never alone. He is constantly in relationship with Himself as the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Six times during the creation story, God says, “It is good.” The only time He says, “ It is not good,” is when He sees Adam alone. God then makes a companion for him. We are made for partnership.
It is commonly assumed that people can move anywhere and find good fellowship. But this is not always true. Last year, I received the following e-mail from a new graduate in town:
“I have been here for five months and have been searching for a group of people in their twenties for fellowship. I have been to so many churches and organizations, but still haven’t found a place where I feel at home.”
This leads us to the question, “What’s required to feel at home with others?” Part of the answer lies in having a shared vision or sense of mission. “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” (Amos 3:3) No. Both must be moving toward the accomplishment of a shared goal. Facing the difficulties and celebrating the victories together. These are the things that bind people together. This will be a topic for future discussions.
WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?
If you have not yet graduated, identify a few friends you would like to maintain relationship with and choose to move someplace together after graduation. Conduct your job search in that same metropolitan area. I know three guys from Virginia Tech who will be moving together this summer, because they want to keep each other focused on reaching out to the lost as they start their respective careers.
If you are already alone in a new place, seek to get connected with the community. Fight against a short-term mentality. You may be planning to stay in your job for only a year or two and then move on or go to graduate school. The tendency then, is not to see this place as your home. The result is that you never get involved. The sooner you get connected to some community activities, the more you will enjoy life in that city. Who knows? You may end up living in that place longer than you plan. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.” (Isaiah 55:8)
God’s instruction to the people of Israel as they were carried off to Babylon is still very applicable to us today.
“Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, for if it prospers, you too will prosper.” (Jeremiah 29:7)
