Coaching Skills Session 3

Initiating a Coaching Relationship

Coach Training

I. Review skills of Contextual Listening and Discovery Questioning

• How's it gone for you using these skills in conversation? What did you observe?

II. Getting Started in a coaching relationship

A. Assumptions

1. Coaching is a collaborative relationship between coach and client. Requires mutual agreement.

2. Relational Essentials:

• Trust is established when the parties do what they say they will do. It is supported by kind words, kind deeds, and unwavering commitment to the other person's best interest.
• Safety - To create a safe place for the client to discover and try new ideas without criticism, and even to fail, is one of the greatest benefits we can offer as coaches. Safety allows one to take risks they would not otherwise take.
• Respect - Mutual respect is a must. Webster defines respect as "esteem, admiration, proper acceptance or courtesy."
• Integrity in coaching relationships is being honest, truthful, and maintaining a timely pulse on the progress of the relationship.
• Honesty - The coach must be a loving truth-bearer. Honesty should also be encouraged on the client's part.
• Any others?

B. Formal versus informal coaching

1. Formal coaching implies an agreed upon, ongoing relationship.

• Coach and client agree to meet for an unspecified or specified length of time, and talk about a variety of life issues.

2. Informal coaching can occur naturally in a conversation around a "coachable issue."

• What is a "coachable issue"? An issue the client recognizes as an important personal issue, one they want to progress on, and are willing to work on it.

C. Starting out

1. Coaching may develop naturally, informally as a person volunteers some problem or issue he/she is wrestling with.

• Or you may ask a question like, "What issues or challenges are you facing right now in your __________?"

2. The coach must ask permission to further explore the issue.

• "Would you like to talk about that a little bit?" "Do you mind me asking a little bit more about that?"

3. In most situations the coach will have to initiate a formal coaching relationship.

• Explain what coaching is. Once agreed upon, parameters and expectations are spelled out.

4. Role play: launching an informal coaching conversation.


D. Initial coaching conversation

• 1. Determine the coaching focus and gain permission.
• 2. Identify the gap - the space between where they are and where they want to be.
• 3. Identify desired outcomes.
• 4. Discuss expectations of the coaching relationship.
• 5. Review the coaching process and logistics.

Discussion: How do you see yourself initiating a coaching relationship? How could you use the coach approach in an existing relationship?

III. Summary/Wrap Up

A. Questions:

• 1. What did you learn about launching a coaching conversation? A coaching relationship?
• 2. Who could you begin to coach?

B. Assignment:

• 1. Continue to practice the key skills of listening and asking questions.
• 2. Seek an answer to #2 above.